Dangerous and Moving
by Vergil Vanire's Paper Heart
Summary: He sighs, gaze still locked on the appalling, murderous hand on his knee. After Sora's death, a depressed Riku is left behind and he feels the need to leave behind his home in turn. (Xehanort/Riku/Vanitus) (Rating may go up) (New chapter up, old chapters being edited tonight, will continue tomorrow)
1. Chapter 1

Title: Dangerous and Moving  
Summary: He sighs, gaze still locked on the appalling, murderous hand on his knee.  
Warnings: boy/boy, character death  
Pairings: (main) Riku/Ansem, one-sided to eventual Vanitus/Riku, (minor) Vincent/Cid, Leon/Cloud, one-sided Tifa/Cloud, past Zack/Cloud, past Leon/Rinoa, past Vincent/Lucretcia and probably many more.  
Disclaimer: Characters and settings used are not mine

* * *

It had been a week since Riku had so much as looked at Kairi. Full on eye-contact was completely out of the question. So, when he pulled up to her apartment, staring at the petite hand resting on his knee, she wasn't about to complain.

He sighs, gaze still locked on the appalling, murderous hand on his knee. The half of a set that helped to kill his best friend.

However, he still took her to court, and even testified in her favor, saying Sora had committed the felony of breaking and entering and even granted court access to the photos of the bruises and carpet burns that mar his body, even at the current moment.

The events that lead to this car ride are still swirling in his head, rather clearly. He still feels Sora's intoxicated mouth at his collar bone, hears himself pleading for the brunet to stop. Then he sees Kairi. Then the pistol in her hands. then he sees the bullet disappear someplace inside Sora. Last, he feels hot, red liquid drain from his best friend to himself. No matter how many showers he takes, he still the sensation of blood soaking his skin. Maybe because it's beneath the skin, as well...

"Is something wrong, Riku?" the redhead asks, still shaken up, herself.

"...Kairi, you... You're my friend, but, you need to understand, so was he. And nothing is going to change those facts, but...but I have to leave. I can't stand to be hear anymore; I'm leaving with Xehanort. And I'm not coming back. Ever."

"Riku..." He can tell she's crying. He tells himself he should be sad about it, but he's not. Even if he did want to comfort her, there wouldn't be much he could do, not after his best friends had just tag-team traumatized him.

"I can't come back here, Kairi. Just make this easy on everyone by getting out and not looking back."

He stares at the steering wheel, hearing the car door slam unnecessarily hard, then the same treatment to her own door, securing a hysteric seventeen year old in its depths.

He sighs again -he'd been doing that a lot this week- and headed to his flat.

It looked like this was going to be a bad day.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Dangerous and Moving  
Summary: He sighs, gaze still locked on the appalling, murderous hand on his knee.  
Warnings: boy/boy, character death  
Pairings: (main) Riku/Ansem, one-sided to eventual Vanitus/Riku, (minor) Vincent/Cid, Leon/Cloud, one-sided Tifa/Cloud, past Zack/Cloud, past Leon/Rinoa, past Vincent/Lucretcia and probably many more.  
Disclaimer: Characters and settings used are not mine

* * *

Namine is standing at the door to his place when he pulls up to the side walk, very much resembling a child with a hand caught in the cookie jar. He lets her in wordlessly, immediately hearing Tidus' raised voice, signifying the presence of his boyfriend. He glances over to Namine, unable to repress a shudder at her resemblance to Kairi. Just like Kairi, without the hair dye. They were twins, after all. It made him wonder if she would shoot him, as Kairi had done to Sora. He mentally shakes his head at himself, hoping he can blame post-traumatic stress. Feeling his eyes on her, or maybe just wanting to get on with it, he isn't sure, she raises her gaze from the floor.

"Maybe you shouldn't be here, Nami. It looks like the boys are fighting." _Not that that's unusual or anything..._ he adds in the safety of his mind.

"I just wanted to give you this," she rushes, handing him what looked like a sketchbook. Upon opening, Riku sees photos taped to the pages, chibi drawings and notes all around them. "I made one for the four of us, since I knew we would separate some day. But, I never thought it would be like this. I was going to hand them out at Christmas, but...but two of you won't be here," she explains with the beginnings of tears. "I want you to have Sora's, too," she shoves an identical sketchbook into his arms and is out the door before he could protest. Not that he would have.

Riku sighs -again- deciding he would never associate with another woman out side of work.

"I'm here!" he calls halfheartedly. But no one seems to hear him, or maybe no one seems to care, he isn't sure. He pushes the books into his bag, heading up the stairs where Xehanort must be, as that's where the source of the yelling is. Tidus pauses his rant as he catches a glimpse of silver hair that doesn't belong to the man he's currently abusing. He intensifies his glare to look at his friend. "You're really going away with him? What happened to going to college, what happened to us?!"

"That was before Kairi shot Sora. Nothing attaches me to this island, anymore."

"That cuts deep, yeah? We grew up together, Ri-kun," Wakka reasons.

"He's a city boy, at heart. Friends don't mean anything to someone like him. Not that I'm friends with a faggot like you!" Tidus yells, retreating to his room and slamming the door. Riku looks away at the insult

"Don't listen to him, Riku. He's just upset, yeah? I mean, losing Sora, then you. It's a tough pill. I mean, we made that promise, and now you're leaving after we already lost someone. We're all grieving right now, all in different ways. For you, that's leaving. For Tidus, that's getting angry at you, because of his old abandonment issues. But I have to take care of what's left here, I can't be worrying about you. That said, I hope you find what you're looking for, whatever that is," Wakka provides, entering his and Tidus' room, to console his friend.

"You didn't deserve that," his lover empathizes, embracing him.

"I know. But, it's just like Wakka said, he's grieving too. He doesn't need any lip from me, even if he's not getting any of my sympathy. At least, not if he's acting like that." Riku pulls away after a moment. "We don't have to for snuggling, not here, anyway. Let's pack up."

Xehanort knew that was pretty much code for: 'I don't want Tidus to come out and have more ammunition, because it makes me feel ugly when he calls me a faggot.' He knew this because those had been his exact words once in the past.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Dangerous and Moving  
Summary: He sighs, gaze still locked on the appalling, murderous hand on his knee.  
Warnings: boy/boy, character death  
Pairings: (main) Riku/Ansem, one-sided to eventual Vanitus/Riku, (minor) Vincent/Cid, Leon/Cloud, one-sided Tifa/Cloud, past Zack/Cloud, past Leon/Rinoa, past Vincent/Lucretcia and probably many more.  
Disclaimer: Characters and settings used are not mine

* * *

Riku doesn't pack a whole lot; doesn't have a whole lot _to _pack, really. Some clothes and a Converse shoe box of photos, that's just about all he needs. "I'm ready to go," he informs, making Sora's bed. Xehanort knew it was Sora's bed, because Riku always made the bed in the morning and hadn't been to his own bed since the attack. It was like Riku's way of saying goodbye. Or, maybe good riddance, Riku isn't sure.

"Do you want to say goodbye to your friends?"

"No one left to waste it on."

"I understand," Xehanort says after a moment, relieving his partner of the scarcely filled bag. "Let's head out, in that case."

The car ride is mostly silent, but a reassuring hand playing with Riku's hair whispers everything will get better once they've been gone a while.

As promised, the employee from the car rental service is at the port, the car already cleaned out. The older man signs some forms and there are no more obligations to Destiny Island. At the very least, no legal obligations. They board the ship with two bags and a promise to Riku for a fresh start. Xehanort used to live in Radiant Garden, when that was what it was called. After a series of terrorist attacks, however, the city was renamed 'Hollow Bastion,' and was under restoration now that Tristitia had been defeated. Well, perhaps obliterated was a better choice of word. Needless to say, their kingdom wouldn't be attacking anyone any time soon. Anyway, the recent death of his mother had left the two a rather empty, un-homely house that he'd only visited a few times in his youth.

He never knew a whole lot about his mother. He'd lived with his father, who he was named after, exclusively almost his entire life along with his adoptive brother, Vanitus. Riku didn't know a whole lot about any of them, as Xehanort didn't speak often of them. On the few occasions he'd asked, his lover would simply explain to him: there isn't much to say. The unimpressive extent of his knowledge was: both of his parents were now deceased and his adoptive brother had been living with boyfriends since the age of sixteen (the death of Xehanort Sr.) until eighteen, when people would allow him to pay rent. Vanitus is the only other living member of his family, and not even biologically.

Supposedly, Riku has his own brother floating around that general vicinity, but -much like his partner's brother- doesn't know a whole lot about him His mother was never very fond of him. He remembers the last time he'd asked about his elusive brother; he'd asked how he'd know if he'd met him, his mother saying -rather condescendingly- 'Oh, trust me: you'll know.' He didn't know what that was supposed to mean. His only other leads were: he was a year older than Xahanort (so, twenty-nine), and his hair was silver, as his own. Probably good leads, as there weren't a whole lot of honest-to-goodness homozygous silver haired men (as that is a recessive trait), his father, himself, and his lover being the only people he'd ever known with such appearance. It was very hard to come across silver-haired people, because statistics show that two in three homozygous silver-haired men are homosexual, a perfect example of that being the trio from Destiny Island; Riku's father: straight, Xehanort: gay, Riku: gay.

He's not really thinking about all of this, though. At least, not actively, because his thoughts keep straying to Sora. Xehanort knows this, his hand laced with Riku's. He knows not to ask him about it, after three years of knowing the youth; if Riku wanted to talk about it, he'd be talking about it. So he holds the pale boy's hand. No more, no less. If Riku wanted anymore, he'd be asking for it. But he just wants a hand to hold. No more, no less. And, later, he'll want to fall asleep with comforting arms around him. No more, no less.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Dangerous and Moving  
Summary: He sighs, gaze still locked on the appalling, murderous hand on his knee.  
Warnings: boy/boy, character death  
Pairings: (main) Riku/Ansem, one-sided to eventual Vanitus/Riku, (minor) Vincent/Cid, Leon/Cloud, one-sided Tifa/Cloud, past Zack/Cloud, past Leon/Rinoa, past Vincent/Lucretcia and probably many more.  
Disclaimer: Characters and settings used are not mine

* * *

Riku hadn't been sea-sick since he was very young, probably around the age of seven. He'd lived on an island his entire life, after all. But something was getting to him on this particular voyage, perhaps because he couldn't see the ocean, only feel it, or because the water was particularly choppy today.

Or perhaps it was because his best friend for as long as he could remember was shot and killed not only in front of him but _on top _of him as well.

He didn't really know which.

In any case, an hour and a half into their voyage found Xehanort alternating between holding Riku's hair back and rubbing his shoulders as transparent liquid found its way from his mouth to the sink, occasionally pausing. After nearly ten minutes, it stopped for a while. He grabs his toothbrush, brushing furiously for several minutes. "I think it's over," he says, popping some xylitol his mouth, hoping the strong cinnamon flavor will take care of the remaining foul taste at the back of his throat.

"Do you want to go to the deck? You might feel better," his companion encourages.

"Sounds good to me," he groans.

There isn't a whole lot to do at the deck in the day-time. During the night, there is music and dance, but in the day, the only thing the couple can do is stare at the horizon and cuddle in the wind. But Riku does feel better, just a little, but enough to matter. Riku is very happy to have his face buried in his lover's chest, because after a while, he's crying. Not like 'a couple tears slipped out' crying, but as in 'Earth-shatteringly childish whimpers that left his body shaking and his face wet and salty as the ocean' crying.

Riku hadn't cried in a long time. So long ago, he couldn't remember when it was. Not even when Sora had been pronounced dead while he sat in the waiting room that already smelled so clearly of sickness and death, he was sure his best friend had died long before the doctor came to tell him so.

When his sobs finally die down, the pair go back to their cabin for sleep.

* * *

_Riku had never been much of a dreamer, could never remember his dreams. But for the span of the last week, he'd been having the most vivid dreams he'd ever known, and had no control over them. He wanted to run, he was rooted to the spot. Just like that night. An intoxicated mouth around his collar bone, exactly like it had happened. No matter how much he wants to fight, he can't, even if he has a good three inches and more muscle, his body just won't respond to his brain. And he desperately wants to fight, because he knows by heart what happens next: shadows that were supposed to represent Kairi in the doorway, shooting his assailant. Then black, copper-tasting liquid gets caught in his throat, and he's choking on it. Then he hears his best friends last words: 'Now a piece of me will always be inside of you.'_

* * *

When the shaken boy awakens, he's being held loosely, his hair is being stroked, and when Xehanort sees his eyes open, he's being kissed, lightly. Lovingly. Not bitten as he was so many hours ago. He returns to crying into his partner, who coos positive messages to him.

* * *

Author's Note: Special thanks to my guest reviewer: Lioness Deity, who pretty much revived this story from an indefinite hiatus, thank you for giving it hope. I hope to hear from you again, soon. Hope you all enjoyed~~~


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